My relationship with God wasn’t always that great, if even existent, until just recently. Growing up the only church I remember is going with my Grandma and then some shortly after my mom and stepdad were married. None of them really caught my interest, but I do have to appreciate the fact that they brought me. As a teenager I was quite a pain in the butt and refused to go because I felt forced, therefore it wasn’t my idea and it wasn’t fun. So, I decided to go down my own path……..BAD IDEA!! I made so many mistakes and have so many regrets. But, at the same time, it has formed me in to the person that I am today.
About 6 or 7 years ago my dad decided that he was going to take his shot at “this whole God thing”. Growing up I always remember hearing him say “God will strike me dead with lightening if I step foot inside a church”. So when he decided to try and find a church to call home, it really sparked my interest. He finally found one after many months of searching and he himself was saved in 2005! After my divorce, I got really lonely and needed something, but wasn’t sure what it was. My stepmom at the time had left my dad and sent him in to a deep depression. So, I felt that it was a good idea to join him at his church on Sunday mornings. Devin and I would meet him there and every time during morning worship I would just break down and cry, but had no idea why. My dad would put his arm around me and just hug me the whole time, not saying a word. He would take Devin so I could gather my composure again. I would look over and see him holding his hand high and singing along and worshiping his heavenly father. I had never seen this side of him before but I LOVED it!
Unfortunately, April 26, 2006 my father took his own life because of his depression and the prescription drugs and alcohol he referred to as “the demons he couldn’t get rid of”. After Arta left him, he plummeted quickly in to a horrible downward spiral of not caring about anything. The combination of alcohol and prescription medication to take away his pain inevitably took him away from me and everyone else who loved him. That was by far the worst day of my life!!
After that I was angry with God for not saving him. I was angry that of all the miracles he performs he couldn’t make this miracle happen. Dad prayed every single day to have his pain taken away, so why weren’t his prayers answered?!! Easy…….Dad wasn’t himself or in the right state of mind and instead of hearing and feeling God’s love, grace, comfort, promise and care for him, the evil took over and he was gone. This wasn’t God’s fault! Why should I blame him?!
I started attending a couple different churches but just couldn’t get that feeling that I belonged there. Then, my sister Kiley said that she attended Abundant Life Baptist Church in Lee’s Summit and it was amazing. So, I told her I would go with her a couple of times and see how I liked it. I had also received some mail of my neighbors that hadn’t quite moved in across the street yet, so I knocked on their door because I saw people working in there. It was the wife’s parents and they were very appreciative. We got to talking and she said that her new son-in-law was the Youth Pastor up at Abundant Life and that I should try it out sometime. I thought “Ok, God, I get it”. J In October of 2009 I finally found my church home and haven’t looked back since. I have never had the desire to go to church as much as I do now. I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to put in my all or nothing. So, on February 14, 2010 I officially became a member of ALBC, March 2010 I began my discipleship with Elona and on July 4, 2010 I was baptized!!! I felt this huge release from all of my mistakes because my sins were washed away. I have met some amazing people at ALBC through the Children’s Ministry I volunteer for every month as well as a Women’s Bible Study…not to mention the comfort of having awesome neighbors just across the street!
Although part of this was extremely hard for me to talk about, I hope that it will reach someone. I would love to have anyone who reads this as a guest at our church, so consider this an open invitation. God loves you no matter who you are or what you have done. It is by his grace that we are saved, not by what we do for Him.
“I am with you and will keep (watch over you with care, take notice of) you wherever you may go, and I will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done all of which I have told you.” (Genesis 28:15)
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